Solace
by scrolled
Summary: Edward is a movie star/musician overwhelmed with his new found fame, but everything changes when he happens upon one particular fan who offers him something he thought he had lost. Will her past, and his present, jeopardized any possible future? AH


**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all things related. I just replay them a million times in my own mind to a million different tunes. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**1. Pep-talk **

**EPOV**

I could remember the first time I had gone to a hotel with my family. My two sisters and I had felt like royalty. Once my parents had opened the door and we looked upon the small kitchenette, the beds perfectly made, the television that dwarfed our own, and the shades drawn wide allowing the sunlight to flood the room. Once the initial awe had worn off my sisters and I had rushed to jump on the beds all while my parents simply watched and laughed. We were "_staying in a hotel_;" how cool was that?!

I walked hurriedly through the brightly lit, quiet halls oblivious to the gold framed artwork every few hundred feet. I watched my feet as I walked, the hood of my sweatshirt smelled of smoke, my hair uncomfortably matted beneath it. Soon I would free my mane of tangled mess, but not here, not yet. I was almost to my room with entourage both in front and behind. If someone stepped out of one of the rooms, if a housekeeper happened upon me, I'd be shuffled off, somewhere else, to try again.

Emmett walked close enough behind me that I could hear each of his exhales. I could feel his eyes penetrating twenty paces ahead of us as we proceeded. "Two more doors Edward" he muttered, his naturally burly voice sounding as though he was recovering from a cold.

"All right! This is it" Alice chirped; I winced at her voice that was far too high pitched and excited. The brigade of others continued on down the hall to their rooms; no acknowledgement; no sound. As with every excursion, Alice was upbeat and attempting to project her airy and pleasant outlook onto me, seemingly looking for my approval toward the torture she assisted in having me endure. Words poured from her. "Here are your keys, the fridge should be stocked, I'm two rooms down but Em's directly across. You call if there's _anything_ you need; anytime, you know the drill ok?" Her little voice carried pleasantness and distress all in one beat.

I gave her one of my now "famous" half grins from under my hood and watched as her tensed shoulders immediately eased. Her attitude was infectious and most times it would be hard not to give in, everything about Alice was… _bubbles_. "We've got to be in the trucks at 6 ok? We'll be by about quarter to." She turned with the coordinated grace of a ballerina and hurried to her room. Emmett remained beside me.

I slid the card key into the slot and heard the familiar snap as it unlocked. The room was as I had asked; the curtains drawn closed. The only light in the room was what managed to leak in where the seams didn't quite meet together. Emmett followed me into the room in nearly the same step and hit the lights. As he scanned and searched through the room, I made my way to the mini-fridge and grabbed a Coke. I threw my hoodie over a chair of an all too familiar typically found desk and tossed my sunglasses down.

"You're good man" Emmett said as he started back toward the door. "Like Alice said, I'm directly across you know, so whatever, you need me, me and Alice's extensions are all ready by your phone."

"Right" I nodded my head as he turned to go, "thanks."

"Think you're gonna wanna go out later?" Emmett asked, seeming to hesitate, his eyes dark, all ready knowing the answer I was sure.

"I don't think so man." I ran my fingers through the chaos of my hair and let them linger there while I spoke. "I don't think Alice has that worked in, and I really don't want a repeat of Wednesday you know?" I looked down as I spoke to him and shifted my weight on the bed. I let my elbows rest on my knees.

Remembering Wednesday seemed to make something catch in my throat. I took along pull of my Coke hoping to ease it away. The flashes of the cameras had been blinding, the screams literally made me feel as though my head would somehow implode. I had never even looked up as Emmett, and a few other gorilla size men, had encircled me and both guided, and shoved, me to the presumed protection of the waiting Escalade. Once I made it into the vehicle the flashes had continued and the crowd was on all sides of us. We couldn't _drive_ away, we had to _crawl_. I had stared into my lap while people crashed against the windows and screamed, what still seemed full volume, through the windows. Emmett sat beside me at the edge of his seat, his knees both bouncing, his hands clutching the two seats in front of us, as his eyes had darted back and forth between the window on my side, then his side, then my side, then his side…

The girls crushed against the vehicle were haunting; their eyes red from exhaustion or tears, makeup running down their faces, their hands tearing through their own hair. At all of these events most of them had been there for more than twenty four hours; in the rain, in the cold, most without sleep and paralyzed to the ground so as not to "lose their places in line." Faint traces of beauty were there, amongst some, but I wondered if any of them realized what I saw staring through the glass at me. I wondered what their reactions would be if they could see their own reflections staring back at them as opposed to only their blinding obsession with the character I had portrayed. With their pleading eyes and hyperventilating frenzy, how could I be anything besides terrified of them?

I hadn't learned till two days later, during a worried call with my own mother, why there had been so much attention that night. A thirteen year old girl had been trampled, her noise had been broken, and she was in the hospital, all because of trying to see me; _me_! Alice had nearly folded in on herself when I finally had managed to coerce her into telling me what she so obviously had known and had been working so hard to keep from me. Everyone tried to keep the tabloid garbage from me, but this wasn't tabloids, this was real, this had happened.

"If something like this happens, I _need_ to know! Someone should have been calling my mother to tell her it hadn't directly involved _me_! She shouldn't have had to wonder! _She_ shouldn't have had to try to get a hold of _me_!" I had screamed at Alice, Emmett, and the whole lot of the rest of them the night before. The tension had been thick ever since.

Even if only to ease my mother, who was an ocean away from me, my security had been stepped up. Emmett wanted to room with me but the constant parade of insanity, even before the most recent events, was just too much. I needed some time that would solely be mine, even if it was just a few hours.

"Yeah, I hear ya' man. We'll catch you in a bit." Emmett's booming voice had quieted as the uncomfortable air still hung between us.

"Em? Hit the lights will ya' man?" I asked, as Emmett reached for the door.

Without looking back, he shut the lights and went out the door.

I sat on the edge of the bed, Coke between my feet on the floor, and grasped my head with both hands. I shook off the all too familiar feeling of routine and went to the edge of the window. I barely drew back the curtain and, as my eyes adjusted to the sudden onslaught of light, I noticed the few cars passing by below; a man walking his dog across the street; the few clusters of people walking here and there; someone apparently cursing as they spilled coffee on themselves.

No one was camped on the side walk. There didn't appear to be any staff having hushed discussions with people. No one had cameras hanging from their necks and phones to their ears. No one knew I was here. Not yet.

My guitar was in the corner waiting for me. I pulled the familiar object to my chest and propped myself against some pillows by the head board. I randomly strummed out a few chords and felt the vibration from the notes rush through my chest, then my arms. It was like a mother soothing their child. If I could have played all night to myself while I slept I would have. The sound and the feel were like nothing else, and they were home, not this room.

I leaned my head back and continued to occupy myself this way for the next thirty minutes but, before lulling myself to sleep, decided I had to get ready. I finished off the now room temperature Coke and headed for the shower. I felt as though I could have melded with the tile wall as the steam engulfed me and the water seemed to pour through me. I wiped the fogged mirror clear with my hand, leaned against the sink, and glared at the eyes staring back at me. "_You can do this. You can do this. You WILL do this. You'll be fine. They don't know you. They can't find you. Emmett will keep you safe. You can do this. You can do this._" This is how the next half hour went for me. As I stood before the mirror I screamed into my own mind that I could do this next event. I attempted to convince myself that the next few hours would be over sooner than I would realize. I tried to force myself into believing that I would get through this evening, easily. The headache came on as I went to get dressed.

I threw on a faded blue t-shirt and a pair of jeans. I had a button up plaid shirt, of darker blue, that I threw over that. I ran my hand through my hair a few times and grabbed my hooded sweatshirt. I couldn't stand the smell of smoke coming from my hoodie any longer and lit a Marlboro light while again sitting on the edge of the bed. Screw the hotel's no smoking policy, they weren't in my situation, and I could afford the extra room cleaning fee.

Emmett's heavy fist on the door alerted me that it was time to go. I walked into the hall to Alice's bright smile, Emmett's brooding face and anxious bounce, and about six others behind them that I couldn't name. "You're a mess" Alice teased, "They'll all love it!" She grabbed my cigarette and, without looking, handed it to one of the nameless faces behind her who was beaming with enthusiasm and seemed anxious to please. "Get rid of that" she said inconsequentially. "Edward, you know you can't smoke that as you make your way out of here, but we've got plenty in the truck for you ok?" She grabbed my arm and started to lead me to the elevators.

Emmett was ahead of us scrutinizing even the fake plants of the hall it seemed as we made our way forward. The additional crowd talked amongst themselves but I didn't catch any of it. "Edward," Alice suddenly said to me, gently, as though meant to only be heard between her and me, "try to remember, this is your last event. It's the last stop on the tour and then you'll get a bit of a break. That should make this easier to get through right?" Her smile was nearly maternal. I gave her some type of incoherent grunt as a response. All of them knew how much I hated crowds.

I was herded through a private entrance and into the waiting truck. I lit up a smoke and leaned my head back against the seat. While we drove Alice text a message to someone through her cell and Emmett resumed his normal anxious bounce and continually looked out each window. The others followed in a truck behind us.

Alice was right, this was the last event. I knew what to expect, they were all the same, and after tonight I would get a break. I could put away the seas of faces, the deafening screams, the pawing and clawing girls, the pep talks to myself, the headaches from anxiety, the nightmares of being crushed or torn apart, the endless procession of airports, and airplanes, and hotels. I may be able to get a full night sleep. After tonight, I wouldn't have to think about these events anymore.

I had no idea how different tonight would be.

**A/N: This is my first shot at fan fiction. I have a story in my head and just thought I'd try to run with it. Please review and let me know if you think I should keep this going? I really don't know if this is INSANE that I'm attempting this or not. Thanks for reading regardless! **


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